It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
