do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
