Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
