Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
