i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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