Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
