So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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