i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't deserve a penis
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
