You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
