I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
