that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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