Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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