The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
