I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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