Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
