Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
