meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
