The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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