your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
