I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
