i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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