Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
