we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
