I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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