he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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