thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
