i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize