i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
