It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
