She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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