just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize