Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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