i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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