marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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