its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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