He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
