I don't think brook has ever known best
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
