Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
