So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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