i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
