You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your cock deserves a montage
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
