um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
