honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
