I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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