If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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