Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
