My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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