he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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