I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
