Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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