susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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