hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize