Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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