hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
